After Scotland

My girl and I at Loch Ness

For the last year, my daughter and I have been focused on (with increasing degree) a trip to Scotland and England. When the trip was first announced, I wasn’t planning on going. It was a tour for her choir at church, and I thought it would be great for Emma to have some independence on her first international trip.

But as fate would have it, I was hired as a part-time project manager for the travel company that arranged the tour. Emma quickly had to say goodbye to her dreams of me waving tearfully from the wrong side of security; we would be traveling companions and roommates.

We both worked hard leading up to the tour—she had to learn the music as part of the choir from fall to summer before departure while I spent the year in correspondence and details for the 60 plus travelers in our group. And we both did a lot of fundraising events and pleas to family and friends, which was met by amazing generosity and kindness. Many people made this trip possible for Emma, and we are so grateful.

The pic of us here was on a rainy, foggy day, perfect for visiting Loch Ness. Other favorite locations included Stirling Castle, Rosslyn Chapel, and the home of Sir Walter Scott. It was quite an inspiring place to visit for a writer! We loved Edinburgh. I have been blessed to travel to places around the world and Edinburgh is a place I would gladly return to.

After the choir tour, Emma and I hopped down to London for a couple of days. I just had to get my theatre girl there. We took in a show, rode a double-decker bus for an overview of the city, and visited The Globe Theatre. Our review of London was favorable, but Edinburgh won out in the end.

Emma was visiting her dad for much of the summer before we left. As she departed, I had all of these visions of all the things I would get accomplished. I would continue to clean out the office closet; I would work on growing my new health and wellness business, and I would start learning Spanish.

Perhaps my goals were a bit ambitious.

The reality is that I hit a wall in the few weeks that Emma was gone. For one thing, I was starting to feel the fierce effects of losing a third of my income when a client changed course. These moments of financial stress are not new for me especially since the economy tanked several years ago, but they always result in the same life questions, “How did I get here?” and “What do I need to do with my career to keep us from this financial ledge?”

I had to begin to scramble—working every waking hour and more to keep us afloat. Bigger life questions started to surface as my exhaustion set in: “What do I want the next 5 years to look like?” and “How do I find the time and the opportunities to work on the things I’m most gifted and passionate about?”

At one point I was so hungry for answers that I fasted for three days. The answer that came was unexpected, but it was really about a bigger need in my life. All the while this personal exploration was occurring, the trip was looming. I realized with some wonderful counsel from those closest to me that many of my questions and answers would need to have an “after Scotland” label attached.

And so now, it’s after Scotland, and though I’m still recovering from jet lag and a bit of unexplained dizziness, I’m ready to peel back those labels. Underneath I imagine words like, “the future is now” and “it’s go time.” That may just be the dreamer and the romantic in me, but I know that change is on the horizon. I’m praying for continued wisdom and courage, along with financial and relational peace.

I’m ready for what’s next. I’m ready for “after Scotland.”